Unless they came clean to you on
their own then
there’s always a good chance that he or she may
be using heroin, each and every day.
And in this article, I will refer to he
or she as a he, as this is the case more often than not. But the same
applies to her as well.
if you caught your daughter, girlfriend, or
wife, smoking, snorting or shooting heroin then
chances are she wasn't ready to come clean and
quit this drug yet.
If you caught your son, boyfriend, or
husband, smoking, snorting or shooting
heroin then chances are he wasn't ready
to quit this drug quite yet.
That doesn’t mean that they can’t be
helped. Chances are they can be helped since
many addicts want to quit but simply don't know
how or where to go for help. They fear
the pain and agony of the heroin withdrawals as well. And since
you’re the only one there for him then it’s up to you to do your best to
help this person while you still can, and of course, if they want your
help as well.
might just be the only hope they have left. So
if you haven’t done so already, then go ahead
and read the article, "How to Help Your Man Quit
And if you’re a parent trying to help your child
then please read my article, "How to Help Your
Son or Daughter Quit Heroin". Once you’ve read
it, do what the article tells you to do and then
just hope for the best.
or she may seem cooperative at first
and may agree with everything you say. And if he’s sincere then
great! Wonderful! He’ll do it. He’ll do his best
to quit this thing and turn his life around. Yet
he or she may also be acting in order to keep
the peace, regain your confidence and yet
continue to use heroin in secret.
If you’ve done all you can,
then all you can do now is wait and see what
happens next. It’s all up to them. It’s up to him
or her to stay clean and turn their life around.
And in the mean time, continue to encourage them
to stay clean and move forward.
The best results I keep
seeing come from scenarios where the wives,
girlfriends or parents of the addict some how
manage to get their partners or children to read
the articles on my website, yet without forcing
them to do so.
If you’re living with your
partner or child then one of the best things
that you can do for them is to print out the
articles on this website, bind them together
nice and neat, and place them somewhere where
you know they'll see them for sure. Then before
you leave, tell him, “I printed out these
articles for you. I’ll leave them right here
just in case you’d like to read them”. That’s
it. Then smile and leave it at that. Hopefully
he or she will read them on their own.
If he decided to quit
heroin warm turkey, with Suboxone or Methadone,
then he might stay home. But if you decided that
he was going to quit heroin cold turkey then
chances are he’s just waiting for you to leave
so he can get dressed, go out and get his fix.
Unless of course, he chose to quit heroin cold
turkey on his own. Then there would be much more
hope for him to succeed than if he were doing
this just for you.
If he can come to read my
articles ‘on his own’ then it’s quite possible
that the articles can begin to motivate and
inspire him as well, not only to quit heroin but
to also turn his life around. It happens. And it
happens quite often as well.
I receive emails from guys
and girls who felt hopeless at first. They were
completely lost. But then after reading the
articles on my website, something clicked. It woke them up and
gave them strength. It gave them hope for a
second chance at life. It motivated them to put
their foot down, quit heroin and turn their
lives around. And till this day, I still find it
amazing how words can move people to take action
in their lives and change.
If you can somehow, get
them to read the articles on this website
without forcing them to do so then there’s a
good chance that the same can happen to your
partner, your son or daughter.
still feel sorry for those who try their
best to help their children, their
partners and loved ones to quit heroin
and end up being deceived and lied to,
day after day after day.
Don’t give up hope
yet. But at the same time, you can't
allow this to continue or else all of
your efforts will become a waste of time
and energy. And the end result will be
heartbreak and total disappointment. If they truly want
to quit, then he or she will do their
best to quit this heroin habit once and
for all. Even if he fails on his 1st,
2nd or 3rd attempt, an honest man will
come clean and ask for forgiveness, and
for help. And as long as he or she
continues to be honest with you then you
can continue to help them in any way
that you can.
There's still much
hope for the dishonest person who
becomes honest, comes clean and reaches
out for help. But there is no hope for
the dishonest person who remains
dishonest without change or remorse. And
if they keep using and lying repeatedly,
then you may have to step back and begin
to pull away; otherwise, nothing may
How do you
know if he’s still using or quitting
How do you know if a Hollywood actor is
acting or telling the truth?
||You don’t - unless of
course you know the script. It’s difficult to
tell when a heroin addict is acting, lying or
being sincere. Sometimes it's almost impossible
to tell the difference. Yet, there are
indicators which can help you to know if he’s
still using heroin or not. There are signs to
watch for and symptoms to observe to see if he’s
actually trying to quit heroin or trying to
deceive you and continue to use.
truly quitting heroin cold turkey, then for the
first few days he or she should display the
signs of heroin withdrawal which include:
||Ice cold chills
||Bone crushing leg
||Back pains, neck
||Severe muscle cramps
||Nausea and vomiting
||Shaking and tremors
||Anxiety and panic
||Loss of appetite
and crying - crying for heroin.
The chances of someone
faking any of these symptoms are slim. But
again, heroin turns addicts into Hollywood
actors. And if they’re not ready to quit then
they’ll do whatever it takes to keep the peace
within the home and keep on using through the
means of deception.
Yet, if observing signs of
withdrawal becomes a bit too much for you to
handle then you can always watch and observe his
daily behavior patterns as well. Because if he’s
truly quitting heroin then his lifestyle is
going to change, in one form or another.
If he’s trying to quit
heroin then his daily routine is going to
change. He won’t be going out as often as he
used to. He won’t be hanging around his old
friends. If he’s not at work, then he’ll be
home, for the most part, all of the time. He
won’t be telling you detailed stories like he
may have been doing before. He won’t be asking
for money any more as well. His old habits and
behavior will disappear, (if he's truly quitting
If he’s truly quitting
heroin, then eventually, 'he will come to life'
and his appearance and personality will begin to
shine - slowly but surely.
If he’s truly quitting
heroin cold turkey, warm turkey or even with
subs, then everything should be changing. And
everything will continue to change, slowly but
surely. So don't worry. Everything will come to
light sooner or later.
How to know if he’s still using heroin
|If he’s still using
heroin then he will display the
following signs of heroin use:
awake one moment and drowsy the
||He or she may
even fall asleep while talking
he’ll have a droopy appearance,
with his mouth wide open
high, he’ll seem disoriented,
dazed, and display poor mental
||His eyes may
appear lost and droopy as if he
were in another world
exhibit drowsiness and
grogginess on and off through
out the day
||At times, his
eyes will be closed, and his
head will be dropped
he'll be scratching his head and
snorting heroin then he'll snort
hard to make sure all the dope
little or no motivation to do
anything other than getting high
slow with a slurred speech and
in a low toned voice
will be constricted when he’s
he may feel nausea and possibly
||He may show
signs of infections from
marks may suddenly appear to be
red or swollen
||His or her
appearance may appear unkept and
||He or she may
use the same clothing day after
day after day
||He'll spend a
lot of time in the bathroom
throughout the day
||He or she
will skip showers and display
||You may find
cash and valuable items missing
missing from the kitchen drawer
||He may steal
and/or borrow money from anyone
||You may find
drug paraphernalia, aluminum
foil, spoons, or syringes
||You may find
small pieces of your own house
hold aluminum foil missing
They'll still be in contact
with old friends and dealers
Old habits and behavior patterns
will still prevail
long term users may not display any nodding or
drowsiness and/or may only do so for a very
short period of time as long term users have
built up a high level of tolerance to the drug.
These are all signs to look out for. These are
all signs which indicate that your loved ones
are still using heroin. Some addicts learn how
to hide these signs from parents and loved ones,
especially when they know that you’re watching
and observing them daily.
Lies, lies and more lies
and manipulation becomes first nature for most
heroin addicts. And one characteristic which
many heroin addicts have in common is lying. If
he doesn’t have a job, or spends his pay check
on dope, then there’s a good chance that he’ll
be living a life of lies, telling you different
stories day after day in order to get more money
for dope (heroin).
Some common lies and
stories used by heroin addicts are as follows:
“I need money to pay off my
dealer or else he’s gonna to kill me.”
Many heroin addicts use
this lie quite often, especially after their
parents became aware of the fact that their
child had a problem with drugs.
They’ll come right up and
tell you, “I need money, now”. And when you ask
them what for, they’ll say; “I have to pay the
dope man (dealer) (or someone), or else he’s
gonna kill me.”
And unfortunately, parents
will give into this lie more often than not.
That’s why this lie is used over and over again.
And if the parents don’t give in on the first or
second try then the addict may have one of his
or her friends call them on their cell phone
right when they’re in front of their parents and
have that friend pretend to be the dope man
calling and demanding his money or else. The
timing will always be perfect.
addicts/Hollywood actors will play the role very
well and may even shed some tears. He might not
even use a friend. He might just make his cell
phone ring on its own, pick it up and play the
role. The end result is the parent is out
anywhere from $20 to $100 or more, and the child
has gone out to buy some dope.
Another common lie used by
many heroin addicts will be:
“I have to pay a court fine
or else they're gonna put me in jail.”
Many heroin addicts have use this lie if they
have a source for money and/or have no money of
their own. They'll add details with various
costs, taxes and even produce a convincing
invoice printed out on paper. They’ll even have
you drop them off right in front of the court
house to pay the fine. But once you leave, their
off to the dope spot.
||“I have to pay
for this ticket or else they’ll suspend my
license and put me in jail.” This is another lie
which is used and detailed in the same manner as
Court fines, probation fees and traffic tickets
all fall under the same category of lies: “I
need to pay this, or else they're going to put
me in jail”. Don’t fall for it. It's a lie. And
even if it was true, it’s not your problem
anyway. It’s not your responsibility to pay for
his or her mistakes, whether it's true or false.
But most likely, it’s a lie.
If they leave the impression that they do want
to quit but are just having a hard time doing
so, then they may also use any of the following
“I have to go visit the doctor to see if he can
help me. I need $60 cash for the consultation
(and he has to go alone)”. If he has medical
insurance then he may explain to you that he
can’t put that type of doctors’ visit on his
insurance card because his insurance won’t cover
They’ll try to leave the impression that they do
want to quit and are doing their part to get
professional help, yet at your expense. They'll
return home with a 'detailed story' from the
doctors’ visit and assure you that everything
will be ok.
But what they really did was buy drugs instead.
And as long as you keep giving in and giving
them money, then he’ll keep using this lie over
and over again.
Then, he’ll use the next lie: “I need $40. I
have to buy $40 worth of methadone (or suboxone)”. He’ll
appear sick as if he was dying and then after
you’ve given him the $40, he’ll go out and buy
his dope bags. And on the way home, he’ll make
his own juice with a weird taste and tell you
that it’s methadone. You won’t know the
Then he’ll use the same lie again, but this time
for suboxone instead of methadone. “I need
money. I'm sick. I'm trying to quit heroin so I
have to buy suboxone tablets”. Then he’ll come
home with some type of tablets that you’ve never
seen before and swallow them right in front of
you in order to have you believe that the money
you gave him was spent on suboxone tablets.
||He may even have
you take him to the dope spot to buy the
tablets, (although he'll already had them in his
pocket). But what he'll actually buy will be a
bag of dope instead. He'll take the tablets out
of his pocket and swallow them right in front of
you to complete his act of deception. Then once
he gets home, he'll do his bag and fade away. He
may even buy real suboxone tablets along with
the heroin as well. Anything is possible when it
comes to heroin. And the lies can go on and on
He’ll add many details to his stories and even
produce computer printed documents for proof.
He’ll do anything to add to his credibility. And
if it works well, then he’ll use it over and
over again with a bit of variation each time.
He may even go as far as to sabotage your car by
pulling cords, or loosening a spark plug and
then tell you not to worry, he’s going to fix
your car for you. Then he’ll ask you for the
money to buy the parts to get it fixed. And he
may go out an actually buy the part and then
return it later to get the money back in order
to buy his dope bag.
He may even have one of his dope friends come
over, pretend to be a mechanic and fix the car
Hollywood style. Then you’ll have to pay him and
they'll both end up getting high on your hard
This may all sound crazy and far fetched, but it
happens all the time. And it happens more often
than not with those who are still living within
And if your son or daughter is living in another
city or another state then he or she may ask you
for money for rent, or else they’re going to be
evicted. Children living away from home use this
lie all the time. They’ll call you, crying,
telling you that if they don’t have the rest of
the rent money by tomorrow then they’re going to
be evicted and thrown out in the street. Don’t
fall for it. It’s a lie! And if it is true then
The sooner they hit rock bottom then the sooner
they can wake up, quit heroin, and turn their
lives around. And hitting rock bottom may be
their only hope left.
knows that you know that he has a problem with
heroin then he may ask you to send him money to
pay for the methadone clinic, Suboxone clinic,
counseling, therapy, medication etc… He may have
a detailed list of the costs ready for you and
he'll need the money, (or part of it), by
tomorrow morning. Don’t fall for it. It’s a
trap. And it’s all a bunch of lies.
He may tell you that his car insurance ran out
and that without it he can’t drive his car to
work. That’s not your problem. And that’s not
your responsibility. And if you start sending
him any money for any reason at all then you’ll
both lose out and he’ll never learn
responsibility. Therefore, if you really want to
help them, then from here on out don’t send them
any money for anything no matter what they tell
There’s no end to the lies
and stories that a heroin addict will create and
use in order to get money. And some of them will
keep wearing you down until you give in. They'll
roll play to the very end. They may steal and
pawn all of your jewelry and valuable items.
They may lie, cheat and steal just to get their
fix. But it all comes down to money for drugs.
Therefore, don’t give them
any more money no matter what they tell you. It
doesn’t matter if they come to you crying and
begging for help. If there’s money involved then
just say no! Don’t give in. Don’t enable him or
her in any way, shape or form. Cut off all
financial support, for good.
So how can you be
100% sure that he or she is not using heroin?
||Get a home drug
him - random and frequent drug
testing. You can pick up a home drug
testing kit for heroin and other drugs
at your local pharmacy. Since there's a
good chance that they'll be using heroin
every day then you can catch them on any
given day and have them take the drug
test right in front of you in the
privacy of your own home. You’ll get the
results back within minutes.
However, it would
be best to make it a surprise drug test
and not let them know that that drug
test is coming. In other words, don’t
tell them that you’re going to drug test
them; instead, just surprise them and do
it. And if they’re truly
clean then they won’t have any objections to
taking the drug test right in front of you.
||Heroin stays in the system for 3 to 4 days. So
if the test results come back positive/dirty for
opiates (heroin), then you know they’ve been
using within the last 3 days.
(NOTE: If the drug test results
keep coming up clean/negative yet the addict
continues to show signs of drug use such as
nodding, scratching, lying etc, then you can go
by the signs of drug use and assume that he or
she is still using every day, or even every few
days, and/or beating and cheating the drug test
by other means. Therefore, go by the signs and
go by your gut.)
Now, even if he still keeps using heroin it
doesn’t mean that there isn’t any hope for them.
This just means that if you’re going to help
someone quit heroin then that someone is going
to have to want to quit just as much as you want
However, don’t be quick to judge and falsely
accuse without knowing for sure if he's using or
not. Yet don't be naive, or let your guard down.
If he’s still using heroin then eventually he’ll
expose himself. He'll become careless and he
will get caught. “You can’t do wrong and get
But if his behavior and daily lifestyle is
changing for the better then most likely, he's
actually quitting heroin.
So in the mean time, don’t give up and don't
lose hope yet. Do everything you can to help
them quit heroin and turn their life around, and
then pray and hope for the best.
Good luck. And
may the good force be with you.