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How to Fix
Your Life Pt.2 |
If you've been hooked on heroin for any length
of time then chances are you've managed to cause
some type of damage to your relationships, in
one form or another. And if you have then
now's the time to start making things
right.
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How to fix your relationships
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If you’re living with your parents then
great! Wonderful! At least you still
have your mother, your father or both by
your side.
If you still have your wife, then
consider yourself fortunate.
If you still have your husband, then
consider yourself very fortunate as
well.
If you still have your children, then
consider yourself and your children very
very fortunate. And if you still have
your family in tact then count your
blessings, because the family is
the most important thing in the world. |
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Yet many teens and young adults get kicked out
of the house and rightfully so because they
robbed their parents clean in order to support
their heroin habit.
Many husbands lose their wives because they
choose to use heroin instead of reaching out for
help.
Many wives lose their husbands because they
choose heroin over their spouse.
Many mothers and fathers as well, lose their
children because they continue to use heroin
instead of trying to do what’s best for the
kids.
And many addicts lose their entire families
because they continue to use heroin instead of
reaching out for help.
It happens every day. Lives are
ruined and families are destroyed, each and
every day, because that’s what heroin does –
it destroys lives and tears families
apart!
And although for some of you, it may look like
it’s too late to get your family back, you’ll
still want to at least try your best to
make things and then hope for the best.
But whether or not you get your family back, you
still have to do your best to make
things right. And you can begin to make
things right by quitting heroin, staying clean,
and turning your life around. You have to change
before you can attempt to fix your
relationships, otherwise you’ll be giving them
the same person all over again, and most likely,
they deserve better than that.
Depending on the severity of your relationship
problems, whether it be marital or family
relationships, you’re going to have to work on
it one step at a time. But in the mean time,
you have to get heroin out of your life
first. You’re going to have to
prove yourself first. You’re going to
have to prove yourself to your mother, your
father, your brother, your sister, your wife,
your husband, your children, and to your entire
family as well. Prove yourself,
apologize and then ask for forgiveness.
You’re going to have to prove to all those
looking on that you are a changed man, or a
changed woman, before they can even begin to
trust you again and allow you to have a
significant part in their lives.
Furthermore, you’re going to have to
prove yourself in action and in deed,
instead of meaningless words or empty promises.
In other words, don’t talk – just do it!
Don’t tell people you’re going to quit
heroin and change your ways. Just do it!
Do it first, and you wont have to talk.
Walk the walk first, and you won’t have to talk
the talk. And sooner or later, they’ll know
you’ve changed your life by your actions and
your deeds. And then you can begin to make
amends, slowly but surely.
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How to fix your
relationship with your parents
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For those of you
who have broken your mothers’ heart or
have become a great disappointment to
your father, you’re going to have to
quit heroin, stay clean, and
turn your life around before you can
begin to win their trust back.
And if you’re living with your parents
now, then you’re going to have to
live a transparent life giving
them no reason to doubt you.
And no matter how hard it’s going to be,
you’re going to have to remain
honest with them in all things,
no matter what. |
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Because that’s the only
way that you’re going to win their trust back,
is by becoming an honest person.
You’re going to have to come to the point to
where no matter what your parents ask you,
they’ll know that you’re going to tell
them the truth from here on out. And
for a parent, there’s no better feeling in the
world than having an honest son or an honest
daughter. The rest is all secondary; because
honesty is the most important thing the
world.
And if you really want to do things right, then
you may want to consider coming clean to
your parents as well.
If you’ve lied, cheated and stolen from your
parents at one time or another, then the only
way to begin to make things right is by
coming clean, and asking them to forgive you.
Then make a vow to them and to yourself, to do
your best to make things right,
start living right and start doing so
right away. If you owe them money then
hurry up, get a job and start paying them back
in one form or another. But that’s just what you
owe them. Then there’s a matter of
restitution, which is going the extra
mile to make things right. You’re going to have
to do a little extra on top of what you
owe them, in order to make things right.
For example, cleaning the house, yard work,
washing the cars, fixing things around the
house, buying them gifts, taking them out to eat
and things of that nature. Furthermore, if
you’re living with your parents, then you’re
going to have to live by their rules no
matter how old you are. And if they
don’t put rules on you, then do everything you
can to show respect to them and their
home.
Do everything you can to show them the
respect that they deserve, and in doing
so, you will begin to win their trust back and
their confidence in you as well. And after this,
don’t ever let them down again.
And for those of you whose parents are junkies,
drug addicts, or alcoholics, my heart goes out
to you. I know how you feel. My dad used to do
heroin with me when I was just 15 years old. We
used to transport drugs together from New York
to Mass. And today, I have no idea where he is
or if he’s alive or dead, or still hooked on
dope.
But if you’re still in contact with your
parents, and they’re still hooked on heroin,
then you can quit heroin, stay clean, turn your
life around, and maybe someday, you can
help them quit heroin and change their lives as
well.
But no matter what, at least you’ll be able to
break the curse. Because
“parents who use drugs, have children who use
drugs”. And many times, that’s exactly
what it is, is a curse, passed on from one
generation to the next. But now, you can break
that curse and do your best to make sure
that the next generation in your family remains
drug-free. This is your chance to do
something great in your life, so please, don’t
blow it!
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How to fix your
relationship with your woman
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If you still have
your wife by your side then consider
yourself very fortunate. Because some
times, heroin addicts lose their wives
for good.
And if you still have your girl by your
side then you can consider yourself
lucky as well. Because most drug-free
women won’t put up with that type of
stuff, at least not for too long.
But if you lost your wife, your girl or
even your children, then don’t
give up hope yet. There may
still be a chance to get them back, or
at least salvage the situation to
manageable circumstances.
But the longer you take to quit this
thing and turn your life around then the
worse things will get and the lesser
your chances will be for fixing your
relationship with her.
But you can start by talking less, and
doing more. Talk is cheap, and actions
speak louder than words.
Furthermore, for many people, your word
may no longer mean anything to them.
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So the
best thing to do is to quit this thing
first, and then literally, turn your life around
to such an extent, that it will be impossible to
doubt the change within your life. Quit
dope first, stay clean, and then get your life
back on track.
And if you want to increase your chances of
things working out for you in your favor, then
you might want to make it a goal to quit
all drugs, once and for all. Because to
be honest, that’s the only way that you’re going
to be able to fix your life, is to quit
all mind altering drugs once and for all and
begin to live a clean, decent, healthy life.
Because I’m telling you right now, there
is a formula to help you fix your life,
and part of that formula is to quit all
drugs, once and for all. And then you
can start from the beginning. Get a job. Get 2
jobs if you have to. Start saving money. And if
you got kids then start sending money to your
kids. But whatever you do, don’t chase your wife
just yet.
Quit dope, first. Stay clean, first. Get
your life back on track, first.
Become an honest man, first.
Prove yourself, apologize and then ask for
forgiveness. And then hope for the best
and let life take care of the rest. If you and
her were meant to be
then sooner or later, things may begin to
change.
And in the mean time, all you have to do is
work hard, stay clean and stay on the
right path. And it would be best to
remain single as well. Word will get back to
her. And sooner or later, she’ll find out that
you truly have changed your life
and that may cause her to change as well. And
someday, she may come looking for you, or sooner
or later, you'll cross paths.
And if there’s absolutely no chance of getting
her back, then don't worry about it and don't
beat yourself down. It could be that it just wasn't meant to be.
And you can use this experience as the
greatest lesson of your life to help you and to
teach you to never do this or any such thing
ever again.
And if you have children with her, then at least
do your best to send her money to help take care
of the children and be involved in their lives
as much as you can.
No matter what, your child needs their
real father in their life because no one will
ever love them the way you do. But your
child needs a new, drug-free dad, and anything
else is unacceptable.
You may have done a lot of bad things in your
life. And you may have caused a lot of damage
along the way. But what matters most is
how you live your life from here on out.
And the best thing to do, no matter how your
situation turns out, is to do your best
to live a clean, decent, honest life.
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How to get your children back
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If Child
Protective Services has taken your son,
daughter, or both, then there’s
only one way to get them back. And that
is to quit heroin, stay clean and turn
your life around.
And when it comes to motherhood,
the only way to prove your self fit to
be a clean, decent and responsible
mother is to quit all drugs once and for
all.
Because that’s the only sure way
to get your kids back, is to quit all
drugs and change your life. Otherwise,
you may never get to live with your kids
again.
If your parents have your children and
you’re allowed to see them at least on
the weekends, then hurry up and quit
this thing so that one day you can have
your kids living with you once again,
because that's where they belong - with
you.
And if the mother or father of your
child has taken your child away because
of your drug use, then hurry up,
quit this thing and get your stuff
together. Otherwise your child
will never have the life that they were
meant to have.
But the longer you take to quit this
thing and change your life, then the
worse things can become. |
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And whether you realize it
or not, people die as drug addicts. And that’s
how and why they become statistics, is because
they put drugs first before their children. And
as a result, they themselves fall by the way
side, become a statistic and are never heard
from again.
And believe it or not, these types of things
happen every day. Because that’s what heroin
does. It ruins lives and tears families part.
Don’t let that happen to you.
Don’t allow yourself to become another
statistic.
If you’re a mother, then your child
deserves a drug-free mom.
If you’re a father, then your child
deserves a drug-free dad.
No matter who you are or what you’ve done,
your child deserves a clean, decent,
drug-free parent.
And the best thing to do is to stop thinking
about yourself, and start doing what’s
best for your kids. And the
only sure way that you’re going to get your kids
back is to quit all mind-altering drugs and turn
your life around. And then hopefully,
they’ll be right back where they should be,
right there with you, together, as a family
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How to fix things with the family
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And when it comes to the
family in general, the only way to earn
their trust back is to quit all drugs and change your life completely.
Because people who keep using drugs, never
really change. Therefore, prove yourself,
in action and in deed by quitting drugs and
changing your life for good.
Prove yourself, apologize and then ask
for forgiveness.. Then you can begin to make amends by
making things right with every member of
your family. It may take time, but it
can be done.
And I realize that some of you may want to quit
heroin, but continue to smoke weed, get drunk
and party on the weekends, but sooner or later,
or as you get older,
you’re going to realize that the best
thing you could ever do with your life is to
live a clean, healthy, drug-free life.
And the sooner you realize this, then the sooner
your life can begin to change. And who knows
what may happen next. Who knows what
life may have in store for you. But the
sooner you get clean and stay clean for good,
then the sooner you’ll find out.
And no matter what, I guarantee you that
a drug-free life will be better than the life
you have now.
But no one is going to force you to quit. And no
one is going to force you to change. That’s a
choice that you have to make on your own. But if
you make the right choice and choose the
right path, then I promise you, your
life will never be the same again.
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How to fix your social life
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Common practice will tell you to get out
there and make new friends. Yet this can
also become a hindrance to your recovery,
your personal development and to your
whole life as well.
You would be much better off allowing
new friends to come into your life
instead of going out of your way to meet
new people. And here’s why:
“Birds of a feather flock
together”.
And if you’re trying to change
your life, then sooner or later, life
will bring you together with people who
are trying to change their lives as
well, or have done so, and want to help
you do the same. |
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So you may be better off
to be patient and allow life to bring the right
people into your life. And if you’re
trying to change your life then it may already
be happening whether you realize it or not.
But beware. Because if you still want to party,
get drunk and smoke weed, then sooner or later,
those same types of people will be back in your
life once again; especially if that’s the type
of thing you’re looking for. Everything depends
on what you want to do with the rest of your
life.
If you simply want to quit heroin but continue
to party then most likely, your life will never
change in the truest sense of the word. You may
have fun, or what seems to be fun on Friday and
Saturday night, but by Sunday, you’ll be feeling
empty and bored once again. And for the rest of
the week, you won’t want to be alone and can’t
wait for Friday to come again.
That gets old after a while, even when you’re
young. And sooner or later, as you mature in
your personal development, some of you are going
to begin to feel out of place in such settings.
Because the more you try to change,
yourself and your life, then the more
uncomfortable you’re going to feel in such
settings around such people.
They may be nice and they may be friends, but
if they’re not trying to change then
you’re not changing either. Because
“birds of a feather flock together”. And I would
much rather be around bad people who want to
change, than to be around good people who are
actually bad people in disguise and will never
change at all.
And like my mother always told me, “tell
me who you hang with and I’ll tell you who you
are”.
If you have a family, then that’s all you really
need. You don’t need to bring outsiders into
your inner circle, especially people who you
just met at work or at school. You’re
much better off just sticking to you and your
family.
But if you have no one to be around and you need
to be around people then you would be
much better off meeting clean, decent, people in
a group setting such as the gym and
participating in group classes such aerobic
classes, running groups, biking groups etc.
You’d be much better off in a group of health
minded people in a controlled and positive
environment than the opposite.
If you’re going to go to college, then you’ll
have a chance to interact with the other
students in a controlled and educational
environment and for the sake of advancing your
education.
If you’re going to attend NA or AA meetings then
you’ll be able to interact with people there as
well who have the same goals as you, and that is
to quit drugs and turn their lives around. As
long as it’s positive and takes place within a
like minded group, then you should be ok. And
sometimes, good friendships can come from such
environments.
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How to be alone
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Heroin addiction
is sometimes tied to relationship
problems or the feelings of loneliness
and/or the absence of a companion.
Yes, it’s ok to be alone, but you must
learn how to do so in a positive and
productive manner.
Sometimes, loneliness can cause you to
seek out old friends or even new friends
who have the same or similar bad habits
which in turn will have a negative
impact upon your recovery and your whole
life as well.
And often times, when x-heroin addicts
find themselves alone, they turn back to
drugs once again.
Furthermore, to avoid being alone, some
people will tag along with any group
that will accept them, even if they have
to take part in destructive behavior in
order to prove their membership to the
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When you’re trying to fix
your life and stay clean at the same time, you
need to learn how to spend time by yourself
constructively and without desperation.
Being alone allows you to become more
conscientious about your thoughts, your behavior
and how you carry yourself about.
You’ll get to see yourself for who you really
are and all those areas you have to work on as
well. Yet even being alone requires skills to do
so.
Therefore, in order to avoid boredom,
discouragement and relapse, it’s important for
you to learn how to be alone. It’s important to
learn how to be by yourself without allowing
your self to get bored and depressed. And you
can do so by making yourself a “things
to do list" and keeping
yourself busy throughout the day and into the
evening as well. And with internet
access, that shouldn’t be too hard to do.
And believe it or not, you can have a full life
by simply waking up in the morning, going to the
gym, then going to work or out to find work, or
go to school during the day, or in the evening
as well. Gym in the morning, followed by work
and school is enough to keep yourself busy all
day and into the evening while giving you plenty
of opportunity for human interaction. And that’s
just a example. You can create a much more
exciting life for yourself as well. So
in reality, you wont be alone all the time.
And part of the goal in being out and about is
to improve your ability to function in the real
world and to learn how to deal with others in a
controlled and civilized manner, without the use
of heroin.
You need to learn how to deal with work, family
and free time in order to have a
successful recovery and be able to
fix your life. And it’s
important to place yourself in environments
which support sobriety, such as gyms, work and
school, all of which support sobriety and help
you to move forward in life.
And when it does come time to be alone, then
you need to find things to do in order
to keep yourself busy and your mind occupied as
well.
You can pick up books and start reading. You can
start reading about careers, business etc. You
can start reading about drug addiction and drug
counseling just in case some day you may need to
help your fellow man quit heroin and change
their life.
Start filling your mind with good things
and eventually good things will come about.
You can begin to write as well and then learn
how to build websites and publish your writings
online. You can take up a hobby such as learning
an instrument, drawing, painting, fishing,
hiking, biking, running, gardening, building
models, photography, archery, baking, cooking,
knitting, poetry, learning another language,
visiting the library, playing video games and
other things that you can do alone.
You can always buy a pet as well. You can get a
cat, a dog, or whatever you want. But a pet can
keep you company, give you someone to talk to,
and at least this way you wont be alone when
you’re home.
However, many people and x-addicts, just can’t
handle being alone and as a result seek the
companionship of another man or another woman.
Guys go out to look for women and women accept
the first thing that comes along. But doing so
can turn out to be a big mistake.
And one of the first things they teach you in NA
is to refrain from starting new relationships in
order to avoid the possibilities of relapse.
If you’re still single, then relax.
You’d be much better off fixing your life first,
than to worry about finding a companion.
You’d be much better off saving some
money first before entertaining the
thought of starting a new relationship.
For now, just
focus on working hard, making money and
becoming stable once again.
Focus on changing the person you are
into the best person that you can become.
And for now, the best thing to do is to
stop looking and let life and circumstances
bring the right person to you, when the time is
right.
There's nothing wrong with being single. It may
be the best thing for you. And if you’re doing
your best to change your life, then sooner or
later you will be rewarded, in one form or
another.
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Click here to read
Part 3 on How to Fix Your Life ---> |
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