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How to Fix
Your Life Pt.3 |
Some of you, (not all of you), but some of you
have legal matters to take care of. You have
court fines, probation fees or tickets to pay as
well. But all of that can be taken care of with
money and time.
And the only way to get the money to pay those
fines is to work and work hard. And that’s
exactly what you’re going to have to do, is to
work hard and pay off your court fines as fast
as you can.
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How to fix your legal matters
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If you’re on probation,
then all you have to do is keep your
nose clean and stay out of trouble.
Stay away from the people and stay away
from the drugs.
And believe it or not, if they find drugs in
your system when you’re tested for drugs then
there’s a good chance that they can send you to
jail. And that’s the last thing you need right
now.
So the best thing to do while you're on
probation is to quit dope and stay clean
for good.
If your license is suspended then don’t drive.
Take the bus or have someone else drive you
around. The last thing you want to do is to go
to jail for driving without a valid drivers
license.
Instead just keep on working, (two jobs if you
have to), pay off your tickets and get your
license reinstated. And hopefully, that day will
come sooner than you think. But for now, keep
paying your court fines, pay your debt to
society and move on with your life. Your
probation will be over with soon.
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How to fix your
educational status
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Education is important.
And if you don’t have one then you can
always start from the bottom and work
your way up.
If you dropped out of high school then
you may want to go back to school to get
your high school diploma or your G.E.D.
as many companies won’t hire you without
one.
I’m not saying that you can’t make it
without a GED or a high school diploma.
But it can make things a lot more easier
for you when you’re trying to obtain a
job.
And if you want to go to college to earn
a degree or become certified in your
field of choice, then you’ll need to get
your G.E.D. first before going to
college or a trade school as well.
Do some research to see which
fields are going to be around for some
time and most importantly,
which of those fields would interest you
the most. |
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If you’re a woman, and you
want help and care for others, then you may want
to go to college or a medical institue to
get your nursing degree.
If you’re good with people or you want to help
others quit drugs and fix their lives then you
may want to go to college and become a
certified drug counselor.
If you’re not good with people but you’re good
with your hands, then learn a new skill
or a trade that’s in high demand and/or would
interest you the most.
If you enjoy working with cars for example, then
you can go to an automotive technical institute
and learn how to become an auto mechanic or an
auto body specialist. And these are just a few
examples.
But whether you go to college or not, whatever
you do, don’t stand still. We should
always be trying to better our lives in every
way that we can.
And if for whatever reason, you’re not able to
get your G.E.D. or go to college then don’t
fret, and don’t be discouraged. Because as long
as you’re trying your best to live right, then
there’s a good chance that doors can begin to
open even without all that stuff.
I got my first legitimate job at the print shop
without a G.E.D. and while on probation. And the
same thing can happen to you. Furthermore, you
can always start your own business from home or
an internet business as well.
Some of you have kids, and you need money now.
And starting a business may be your best
bet.
And don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong
with working a regular job as well, especially
if all the bills are being paid. But if your
regular job is not enough to pay the bills then
you may have to start doing something
different.
And if that requires getting an education to get
a better job then do it! Go back to
school and get it. Get an education and
keep moving forward. And before you know it,
you’ll be where you want to be. It may take some
time and a bit of hard work, as getting a degree
always does. But whether you go to school or
not, that time is going to go by no matter what.
And if you’re already in college then great!
Wonderful! Keep on going. But whatever you do,
don’t slow down now. Keep
pressing on and keep moving forward.
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How to fix your
communication skills
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In order to fix
our lives, we need to
communicate with others in a
professional and civilized manner
and then force ourselves to do so with
everyone we meet.
But this can become difficult to do,
especially when things don’t go our way.
You can be the nicest person in the
world, but can you still keep your cool
when things go wrong?
Can you argue with your spouse without
yelling or throwing things at them?
When we go to a job interview, we’re
polite, well mannered and soft spoken.
We don’t swear, curse, use slang or talk
broken English.
But when we’re with our friends and out
in the world do we still maintain this
same behavior? |
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Imagine how much better
our lives would be if we could communicate with
everyone in a civilized manner, using normal
English, without swearing and adding a touch of
kindness as well. Life would be so much
better, not only for you, but for every
person who comes your way. But doing so is much
easier said than done, especially when we’ve
been living in the opposite manner for so many
years.
When I was on drugs, I didn’t know how to act.
And when I got off drugs, I still didn’t know
how to act. I didn’t know how to talk without
using slang. I didn’t know how to comminute
without using foul language. And as result it
was difficult to make my way back into society
and be looked upon as a normal human
being and a law abiding citizen.
But one thing I do know is that we all
have the ability to control how we act, what we
say and how we communicate with others.
Because even back then, as messed up as I was, I
could control myself and make myself talk like a
normal person, without swearing and without
using slang when speaking to civilized and
professional people.
And I realize that some of you are highly
educated and speak and communicate like normal
human beings. But some of you might still be
rough around the edges and act like thugs. And
to remain as such, will make it very difficult
to make your way back into society and fix your
life as well.
But if you want good things to start happening
in your life then you may want to
consider acting in a civilized and professional
manner. And in the beginning, it may be
just that – an act. But in time, it will become
habit, just like everything else. And sooner or
later, it may become genuine and this will
become your new identity: a clean,
decent, normal human being.
Furthermore, once you separate yourself
from bad company, then you won’t have
to act and talk in an uncivilized manner any
longer. And once you’re around good, clean,
decent people, then you’ll start acting and
talking like a good, clean, decent person.
We’re judged by others by how we act,
how we talk and the words that come forth from
our lips. And the words we speak can
either be encouraging or discouraging, negative
or positive. We can build up or tear
down just by the words we use. And if
we’re going to have a positive effect upon those
we come into contact with then we’re going to
have to communicate in a clean, decent, positive
manner.
Using foul language for example, cursing,
swearing, etc, affects others and yourself in a
negative manner. Furthermore, continual and
consistent use of foul language will not allow
you to become a better person. In fact, it’s
impossible to become a better person while
continuing to use constant foul language each
and every day.
But as you grow and work on becoming a
better person, then you’ll soon begin
to find yourself swearing less and less as time
goes on. This is a good thing. And it’s
guaranteed to have a positive effect upon your
life and those who hear you as well.
Furthermore, we need to learn how to
become better listeners as well.
Everyone needs someone to talk to, even if
everything they have to say is sad, depressing
and negative. Because if they keep all that
stuff trapped inside for too long then sooner or
later they’re going to explode and maybe hurt
themselves or someone else. But once
they let it out, then they can
begin to heal and get help.
And with practice, you can become that
person who will listen to them and then
help them to figure out a solution to their
problems. But even that takes practice and
patience along with a genuine concern
for others as well. But in time, it can
be done. And you can make a major difference in
someone else’s life just by becoming a good
listener and being there to listen in their time
of need.
And when it comes to our daily lives,
good communication skills are needed
for professional and personal relationships as
well. It’s important to learn how to listen
without lashing out, or getting
upset with the other speaker, or shutting them
out completely. And it’s important to
respond without trying to make the other person
feel bad and make ourselves feel good.
Practicing calm and effective
communication skills is essential in
order to get along with others and to avoid
relapse or situations which trigger relapse as
well. And it’s very possible to speak and even
argue without yelling but we must train and
force ourselves to do so.
If you have a problem with losing your temper,
then you might want to first admit to yourself
that you have a problem and make a
conscious effort to change. Make a
commitment to yourself and to those who are
affected by your temper, to do your best
to control and subdue your temper if
and when bad situations arise.
But all of this takes time, practice and
patience. And without drugs, we can become more
contentious about what we say and how we act in
order to avoid saying the wrong things or acting
the wrong way.
Basically, the only way to fix your
communication skills is to learn how to
act right and then force yourself to do so.
And that in itself will take great effort for
some of you.
But once you get the drugs out of your life,
then you can start re-programming
yourself to act and respond in a kind and gentle
manner to everyone who comes your way
and even when caught in the middle of a bad
situation. And in doing so, it will be much
easier to fix your life and have a positive
effect upon others as well.
Because how we treat others is how
others will treat us. And if
we’re kind and respectful to others, then others
will be kind and respectful to us.
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How to fix the situation with your
health
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You can begin to fix your health
by quitting heroin first.
And once you quit heroin and release all
those constipated toxins from your body,
then within days your body can
begin to heal while the rest of
your body parts come back to life.
Knowing that you won’t have to go
looking for money for your next quick
fix brings stress levels down
dramatically. And looking
forward to a new and better life can
bring hope and happiness and
bring stress levels down.
You may even want to consider
quitting smoking as well.
Quitting cigarettes, needless
to say, will definitely help you in your
quest for better health. Furthermore,
the benefits of quitting cigs
are almost immediate.
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For example, after 24 hours of quitting,
blood pressure and pulse rate can begin to drop.
After 48 hours of quitting, carbon monoxide
levels in the blood can begin to return back to
normal. And after just 3 weeks of quitting,
circulation can begin to improve and
lung function can begin to increase.
And there are many more benefits to
quitting smoking as well. For one,
you'll save a lot of money from
not buying cigarettes, (about $130 per month).
Your mind and body will begin to
function a whole lot better. Your food
will taste better as well. Your breath, hair and
clothes won't smell like cigarette smoke
anymore. Instead, you’ll feel clean and
fresh all the time and it’s one
of the best things that you can do to improve
your overall health.
Just by quitting drugs, cigs and
alcohol, you’ll begin to fix your health almost
immediately. Even smoking less can help
as well. And then from there on out, you can
begin to put in the extra work to improve your
health and overall state of being.
You can begin to drink 7 bottles of
water each day, starting with 1 bottled
water first thing in the morning, (before
coffee). And then divide your water intake
throughout the day or as needed. Water
is the most important element your body will
ever need and without it, we become
weak and ill.
Get out and get some sun as
often as you can. Go outside without
sunglasses as well. Look at the sun
from an indirect angle in order to allow the
rays and energy of the sun to enter your body,
through your eyes. For it is impossible
to obtain proper health without obtaining
sufficient sunlight.
Furthermore, the sun can heal many diseases, and
yes, even aids.
If you’re able to walk, then you might want
start taking walks around the
block or in the park in order to get blood
circulating throughout your body, for better
circulation and lung function as well.
And if you’re able to join a gym, then
do it. You’re more likely to stick to
an exercise routine when paying for your gym
membership. Furthermore, you’ll begin to
feel the difference within a matter of days.
And exercising counteracts drug addiction which
can help you stay clean for good.
You can also start taking vitamins,
supplements and eating healthy meals as
well. Do everything you can to fix your
health and then the rest is just a
matter of time and dedication to a better and
healthier lifestyle.
If you have a serious medical condition then you
might want to consider surgery. If you have a
condition which hinders your daily life and can
only be fixed by surgery then it might be
something to consider, (if the surgery wont
bring other complications).
If you don’t have medical insurance then visit
your local social services office to
apply for Medicaid. But do
whatever you can to fix your health and your
well state of being.
If you have dental problems then go see
a dentist. If you have dental insurance
then great! Wonderful! But if not, then either
try to get the cheapest insurance possible or
visit your local dentist to see if they can work
out a payment plan with you. But if you have no
insurance, no cash and no way to fix your teeth
then do what you can with what you can
afford.
For example, if you have a damaged tooth, then
you can visit your local CVS pharmacy and buy a
small container of “Refilit”, which is a
temporary filling agent that can be used as
fillings until you can get to see a dentist. And
in the mean time, cut down on sweats, rinse with
Listerine and brush after every meal. And this
is just one example of how to do the best you
can with what you can afford.
Your health is important, but
it won’t get better by itself. Therefore, do
everything you can to fix your health and remain
healthy in order to have and enjoy a better and
healthier life.
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How to avoid relapse
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It can become very difficult and even
impossible to fix your life when you’re
relapsing over and over again.
Therefore, in order to fix your life and
keep moving
forward, it becomes crucial to
avoid relapse and stay clean for good.
And in order to avoid relapse you need
to keep yourself busy with building and
re-building your life. You have
to have structure. And structure means:
1-Having a full life
2-Having a place to live and
prepare meals
3-Having a routine for working
and making a living
4-Having family or other people
to live and be with
5-Having places to go and social
companionship
6-Having good to fair health
7-Having goals to accomplish
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But in the process of
building and re-building structure, difficulties
can arise and catch you off guard. And these
difficulties can become triggers
that can cause you to relapse as well.
Therefore, you’ll need to identify these
triggers and have an escape plan in place for
when these triggers arise. But one
trigger most common to all is depression.
And without goals and a better life to look
forward to, life can become depressing and
meaningless as well. If you have nothing to look
forward to then that in itself can become a
trigger for relapse. So the first thing you’ll
want to do is to write down your goals
and plans for creating a new and better life
and then keep reminding yourself that even
just one relapse will set you back
greatly, and quite possibly, ruin your
goals for good. Furthermore, just one
relapse is all it takes to over dose and die.
So whatever you do, don’t let yourself
relapse. Instead, recommit
yourself and continue your mission to
quit heroin, stay clean and turn your life
around. And doing everything you can to
avoid relapse is going to keep you afloat and
allow you to fix your life for good.
But to avoid relapse means to resist the
urge to use. And there are ways to
resist that urge which can be broken down into 3
approaches.
1. The Cognitive approach: Using your
mind
2. The Behavioral approach: Taking
action
3. The Social approach: Reaching out for
help
The cognitive approach or using your
mind first, is when you think of the
negative aspects of doing heroin and the
positive aspects of staying clean.
For example, one negative aspect to relapsing is
that you can become addicted all over again and
possibly worse than ever before, and that’s the
last thing you need.
The positive aspect of staying clean is that
you can continue to pursue your goals
without dope slowing you down. And
without dope, you’re going to have a much better
life no matter what. The positive aspects will
always outweigh the negative aspects of using
heroin.
And any kind of “I can do it”
behavior is positive and will help
greatly. You can use whatever will
power you have left to help you resist the urge
to use. Any positive technique will help as long
as it’s empowering and not self destructive.
For example, getting down at your self wont help
much, but getting mad at the drug for
what is has done to your life, will.
When using the Cognitive approach, the first
thing you have to do is start fighting
those thoughts of getting high, right away,
the second they come in. Don’t let those
thoughts linger in your mind, not even for a
minute. The minute they come in, you
throw them out right away and then
keep telling yourself, aloud, "No, no,
no!" (Repetition works!)
And then replace those thoughts with thoughts of
how wonderful it is to be free.
Think about how wonderful it is not to have to
be living that nasty lifestyle ever again.
And if you’re a woman, then start taking
pride in being a woman and
start seeing this drug as a dirty, nasty, filthy
drug that turns good women into slaves.
You need to start seeing this drug as a nasty
and disgusting drug in order to start hating it
and get rid of it for good. And always remember
that this drug destroys lives and tears families
apart.
The behavioral approach is when you take
action to do something else instead of
giving in to that urge to use. When those
thoughts of getting high come in to tempt you,
then you can take action right there and then
and get out of the house and go for a
walk. Go out to the mall and buy
yourself something nice, sweat and tasty as a
reward for staying clean.
But you’ll need to take action right
away and do something different in
order to distract yourself from thinking about
using. Do whatever you can to distract
yourself and sure enough those thoughts
of using will begin to simmer down and fade
away, at least for the moment. And if they come
back, then go to battle once again and keep
fighting those thoughts till they’re subdued and
put in their place.
The social approach is when you reach
out to others for help and support or
take yourself out of harmful settings in order
to resist temptation. If you’re alone and feel
the urge to use and simply can’t help yourself
then reach out for help by calling a
friend or attending an NA meeting.
If you’re in the wrong type of environment
around the wrong type of people then
take off as quickly as possible. But
whatever you do, don’t give in to using.
Instead, start battling those thoughts,
escape the premises and reach out for help.
Always remember that one bad decision leads to
another. But at any point you can put a stop to
it by making the right choice. And in doing so,
it will change the course of your life.
And in the mist of a thought provoking
attack, you can rescue yourself by
making the right choice. And believe it
or not, no matter how bad you were before,
you do have the ability to slam on the
breaks and avoid relapse completely.
But in the mean time, the main thing you have to
do is stay on guard, keep yourself busy,
all day and all night, working to
achieve your goals, and
building and rebuilding structure in your life.
And in doing so, you will quit heroin, stay
clean and turn your life around.
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How to improve your overall happiness
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No matter how bad
or how good your life is, you
can still find ways to have more
happiness while you strive to fix your
life.
However, the more wrong that you’ve done
in your life and the more messed up your
life is, then the harder it is to be
happy.
But even so, there are
still many things that you can start
doing to improve your overall happiness.
Try not to think about the past:
It’s almost impossible for many people
to forget about the past. But many times
it’s needful to try not to think about
it as much in order to stay positive
about where you’re at now and where
you’re heading from here on out.
But
even so, feeling guilty about all the wrong
we’ve done in our lives is normal and is part of
our reaping as well.
And there’s nothing we can
do about that, other than to catch ourselves
before going into deep depression and
start focusing on the present, in order to
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Focus on now: Look at where
you’re at now. You’re on a web site that teaches
you how to quit heroin, stay clean and turn your
life around, and only good things can
come from this.
Now there’s hope! And if you’re
still alive, then you’ve been given a
second chance at life. This can become
the beginning for a whole new life for you in
ways that you never thought possible.
This can become the turning point of your life!
Think about the future: Think
about how wonderful it is, or how wonderful it
will be to be free from heroin slavery,
once and for all. Think about what it’s
going to be like to wake up in the
morning and feel your normal body without the
need for dope.
Think about all the possibilities.
Think about how much your life is going
to change. Because once you get heroin
out of your life, then the possibilities are
endless. The sky’s the limit! And no matter how
bad things look, it’s better to be optimistic
than to have no hope at all.
You can strive to become a better person in
every way that you can. And that’s one
of the most important things that you could ever
do with your life. But it doesn’t stop there.
You can actually start planning your
future and then begin to build your life.
Set goals: You can start
setting goals, meaningful goals and then start
accomplishing and achieving them, one by one.
You need to have goals in order to have
something to look forward to.
“People who strive for something significant,
whether it’s learning a new craft or raising
moral children, are far happier than those who
don’t have strong dreams or aspirations,” says
Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener. “As humans,
we actually require a sense of meaning to
thrive.” Harvard’s resident happiness professor,
Tal Ben-Shahar, agrees, “Happiness lies at the
intersection between pleasure and meaning.
Whether at work or at home, the goal is to
engage in activities that are both personally
significant and enjoyable.” Yes Magazine
And when it comes to work, finances and careers,
figure out a way to do what you love or
learn how to enjoy and appreciate the job you
already have. But if you’re not happy,
then strive for a better position or look for
another job. And if that means going back to
school or going through some sort of
certification program, then go for it. Do it.
Do what you love, and the money will
follow.
And I realize that money isn’t everything, but
it can sure help solve a lot of problems. And
once those problems are solved, then overall
happiness improves. So there’s nothing wrong
with trying to improve your finances. And
there’s nothing wrong with trying to find a
better paying and more meaningful job.
And as long as honesty and integrity are
at the top of the list, then there’s
nothing wrong with trying to improve your life
in every way that you can, especially when your
life is messed up in every way that it can be.
And when things do start to improve,
then be thankful like never before.
Be thankful: Start your days
off with gratitude. Be thankful for what
you have even if it’s very little. For
if you’re thankful and appreciative for the
little things, then maybe, just maybe, better
things may come your way.
Then tell yourself first thing in the morning,
“today, I’m going to do my best to live
as best as I can and do the right thing in
everything that I do”. And that must be
our goal for each and every day no matter what
may come our way. And by the end of the day,
you’ll have something new to be thankful for,
even if it’s just for another
day of sobriety.
“People who keep gratitude journals on a weekly
basis are healthier, more optimistic, and more
likely to make progress toward achieving
personal goals, according to author Robert
Emmons. Research by Martin Seligman, founder of
positive psychology, revealed that people who
write “gratitude letters” to someone who made a
difference in their lives score higher on
happiness, and lower on depression—and the
effect lasts for weeks.” Yes Magazine
Spend more time with your loved ones:
Family and close relationships are one of the
best ways to improve overall happiness. So if
you have a family, and you’re able to be with
them, then spend as much time as you can
with your family whenever the opportunity is
there.
“Happier people tend to have good families,
friends, and supportive relationships, say
Diener and Biswas Diener. But it’s not enough to
be the life of the party if you’re surrounded by
shallow acquaintances. “We don’t just need
relationships, we need close ones” that involve
understanding and caring.” Yes Magazine
Get out and get active: Get out
and get some sun. Spend some time
outdoors. Observe and appreciate
nature. Take a walk in the park. Start doing
some sort of physical activity each and every
day in order to improve your health and overall
happiness as well.
“A Duke University study shows that exercise may
be just as effective as drugs in treating
depression, without all the side effects and
expense. Other research shows that in addition
to health benefits, regular exercise offers a
sense of accomplishment and opportunity for
social interaction, releases feel-good
endorphins, and boosts self-esteem.” Yes!
Magazine
Make things right: If you want
to be happy then you have to do your
best to make right the wrongs you have done.
If you’ve done someone wrong, then do your best
to make things right. Apologize, ask for
forgiveness and do everything you can to make
things right. And then go the extra
mile in any way that you can.
Show kindness to others: Start
showing kindness to everyone who comes your way.
All it takes is a simple smile to make their
day. And you can add to your happiness
by making others happy as well. Then
keep smiling all day long, (even if you don’t
feel like it).
It’s easy to show kindness to people you like,
but it’s harder to show kindness to those who’ve
done you wrong. But in doing so, you’ll
always win, knowing that no matter what
they’ve done to you, you did the right thing in
showing kindness to them. And you can’t
go wrong by doing right.
Everything we do comes back to us in one
form or another. And how we treat others, will
have a great affect upon how others treat us and
our loved ones as well.
Don’t take revenge on those who do you
wrong. And don’t even think about
revenge for that matter as well. Let it go. For
their day will come. And sooner or later, it
will all come back to them. But when it does,
then don’t take pleasure in their misfortune.
Instead, feel sorry for them. For if they don’t
change soon, then there remains no hope for
them, and their life will be a life of sadness
with no end in site.
And be happy, when good things happen to
other people. For if we’re happy for
others when good things happen for them, then
maybe some day, good things will happen for us.
And being happy for others, improves our overall
happiness just as well.
Help others: Helping others is
one of the best ways to show kindness to
your fellow man and can also bring an
immense feeling of satisfaction and happiness as
well.
Researcher Stephen Post says “helping a
neighbor, volunteering, or donating goods and
services results in a “helper’s high”, and you
get more health benefits than you would from
exercise or quitting smoking. Listening to a
friend, passing on your skills, celebrating
others’ successes, and forgiveness also
contribute to happiness”, he says. Researcher
Elizabeth Dunn found that those who spend money
on others reported much greater happiness than
those who spend it on themselves.” Yes Magazine
Helping others can also help you to forget about
your own problems as well, while engaging in
social interaction. It helps you to learn how to
put others first, instead of
yourself. It helps you to remove selfishness and
increase generosity. And more
importantly, helping others can add
value and bring happiness to peoples’ lives,
and as a result will bring happiness and value
to your life as well.
Have purpose: Having a purpose
in life, and knowing what your purpose is, can
help improve happiness and give meaning to life
as well.
Start searching from within and start asking
yourself: “what is my real purpose in
life?” You might get the answer right
away. Or it may take you some time to figure it
out. But you’ll know when it comes. And most
likely, it will be the answer that pulls on your
heart the most.
And if you can’t find your purpose where you’re
at then move on to better pasture. Move to
another city. Move to another state. Or move to
another country. But whatever you do, don’t
stand there and let life pass you by. Move on and
find your purpose in life.
Know what is right: A
happy man or a happy woman is one who finds out
what is right and then does it. Because
there’s no way that you can be happy when you’re
still doing wrong.
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But when you’re trying to do right, regardless
of the present circumstances, then you’re able to obtain
an inner peace within you, knowing that no
matter what you did before, at least
you’re trying to do the right thing now, and
that's what matters most.
Therefore, if you
want to be happy and have peace from
within, then start searching,
start asking and start finding out what
is right in
every area of your life and then start
doing it.
Its one thing to know what is right but
it’s another thing to do it. And we
won’t get rewarded until we start doing
right.
Therefore, the best thing that you could
ever do with your life is to find out
what is right and then start doing it. And in doing so,
things can begin to change and we can
begin to change.
And who knows, the best may be
yet to come. And you can end up
having a far better life than ever
before. Therefore, do your best
to fix your life and let life take care
of rest.
Good luck. And
may the good force be with you. |
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